Two Things You Need During the Homebuying Process: A Solid Spouse and a Reliable Real Estate Agent

As I sit on my desk pondering on what to blog about this Friday morning of October 11, I find myself suffering from a writer’s block. No ideas, no concepts, no subject matter, hence, no words.

I am amidst a home-buying and home-selling situation and with two young children, an eight-to-five job, and house chores, I am drained.

I am learning though that there are two things good to have when you’re amidst a homebuying process—a supportive and positive spouse and reliable real estate and loan agents.

First you need the solid support of your partner to bounce off thoughts and weigh pros and cons when considering a property that may end up being your lifelong home. I usually decide with my heart and thankfully, my husband is practical and mathematical. Plus when I get so engrossed on checking my MLS link (Multiple Listing Service is a resource sent to you by your real estate agent to communicate prospective properties), there is a partner who remembers to prepare milk for the baby.

Second, you need to have a reliable real estate agent who looks out for your needs, not his. Ours is Rodman Amiri of Merit Real Estate who knows our budgets, knows our needs, and knows our tastes by heart (including our eldest daughter’s, Jamie, who longs for yard space for a jumper on her birthdays.) He makes sure that the areas we vie for are conducive to raising a family. He anticipates our future plans (I told you how he knows these by heart) and makes sure the homes we look at have room to grow into. Finally, he looks out for the price. He studies the comparables—list of surrounding homes with the same specifications in a particular neighborhood—and all other real estate factors that allow us to make the right offers and not overbid. He disregards a property if it is not suited for us even if it may mean earning him a bigger commission. He wants our mortgage payments to be comfortable for us to keep the house for the long-term. Lastly, I cannot thank him enough for his patience and perseverance. For all of my family’s collective desires in finding a house, and selling our current one, he always meets those needs. And I say always.

Finally, you have to have a stable financing company behind you. Redondo Mortgage Center (RMC) has been around South Bay for nearly 25 years. It is good to have a solid pre-qualification on hand before you even start shopping for a home. RMC will guide you through the process and ensure that you are qualified to make an offer.

I will not say that homebuying is completely stress-free. Particularly if you are hormonal like me. But with partners alongside you who make the process adventures as opposed to arduous, there is a lot to look forward to than stress about. It is certainly comforting to have a partner who can put you in a realistic perspective and a real estate agent who remembers that a yard needs to be big enough for a bouncer.

I guess I no longer have a writer’s block J

-MMG

Then God Told Me It's Better Than Winning the Jackpot

Lately I have been buying lottery tickets. If you know me, you know that I am not into these lottery things. First off, I've never won any raffle in my life--not in any annual Christmas party, not a cake raffle at school, not in any mall-sponsored drawings. So I am kinda skeptical about coughing out a buck to join a pool for a chance to win millions.

Anyhow, influenced by advertising taglined "Imagine what a buck can do!" I join the office pool on California Lottery Megamillions and even bet on a few numbers myself. Ticket on hand, all the things that I would do should I win, flash in my head (backgrounded of course by the TVC theme "California Dreaming"). I told myself "Mars, you don't need all the jackpot money. Just enough to buy a van, donate to church and your kids' school, a small home upgrade, and a little for the girls' trust fund." Then I smile. I even have this sporadic conversations with God while driving alone in my car: "What do you say, God? Do you think I can have a share of that lottery?"

Then he answered. "...It's better than winning the jackpot."

He answered last night when I came upon this news: http://www.cnn.com/2013/07/15/justice/pennsylvania-teen-heroes 

Jocelyn Rojas, a five-year old girl was rescued by two teens from a suspected kidnapper. Tracy Clay, grandmother of Jocelyn, was ecstatic upon the safe return of their little girl. She was profusely grateful to the young teens who pursued the suspect who eventually let the little girl out seeing that he was being chased. In her interview she blurted out "...It's better than winning the jackpot!..." 

I was literally shaken. Her words struck like thunder. How uncanny that God answers me when  I least expect it.

I guess, this will be the last lottery I will be obsessed with. Now I am humming "California Dreaming" and in my head, I see a picture of my family. It's cuddle time with the girls and as their laughter resound, my husband and I feel we've hit the jackpot.

Re-Gifting: Aim to Please Not Insult

There's nothing bad about re-gifting. If you you think an item you own would be appreciated by the recipient and will be put in better use, then go ahead, re-gift away!

There are just some simple rules I think we must follow in order to please instead of insult.

1.  Please make sure the item has never been used.

This should be obvious. If you have already used the gift and find that for some reason, it is not to your liking, just donate it or give it to someone "just because". Do not try to pass it up as a present. I got a blouse that I wore once but it just didn't look good on me. But the color would be perfect for my sister, so I told her that I had worn it once but it may flatter her more. I told her she could keep it if she likes it. She was happy that it looked great on her!

2.  Please remove all traces of notes that were meant for you.

Unless you mean to insult your recipient, please take out cards, notes, or tags indicating the item was meant for you. I once got the book "Eat, Love, Pray" form a co-worker for my birthday. I thought it was very sweet since she never gave anyone a present at work. When I opened the first page there was a post-it that read "Dear XXXXX, I hope you like this book. From XXXXXX". I would have appreciated it more if my giver told me "I'm done reading this book from my friend and thought you might enjoy it too. Happy Birthday!"

3.  Be honest. If you're comfortable enough to let the recipient know, a family or a close friend, then let her or him know that this was something someone gave you but you think he/she may enjoy it more.

4. Please do not brag that you bought it especially for him/her.

My mom got a present last Christmas. The giver said "I made this especially for you." It was a bottle of preserved vegetables. When my mom got home she opened the present and on the bottle it read "Dear XXXX, Merry Christmas, God Bless! From XXXXXXX Family." My mom got sad especially because she went out of her way to save and plan a present she could afford for that giver. It wasn't a matter of "how much" it cost. But the effort and the time to think things through instead of just grabbing a bottle from the cupboard, speaks much of a person.

I may not be a generous gift-giver. I may wait for the right items, I know my recipient would love, to go on sale. I do not have much, but if my recipient is special, I may even find time to make him or her something. A photo collage of her or his family on a frame. Baked brownies. A tribute video. But rest assured, if the gift comes from me, the frame may have been bought from the 99C store, the brownies may have come from a mix, and the video may cost me zero dollar amount, they would have all been meant for the recipient. Most of all, it would have come from the heart.

PSDon't you think those who re-gift carelessly should receive the same?

Forgiving Heart

It was no secretthat my grandfather, former Chief of Police Telesforo Tenorio, was a "ladies' man." That's subtly put.

When I was 10 years old I met a girl my age while at a party. She bragged that her grandfather was the chief of police of Manila. I told her that that wasn't possible 'cause it's my grandfather who's the chief of police, Telesforo Tenorio, married to my grandmother, Rosario. She exclaimed "That's my grandfather!" I was puzzled. I knew all of my cousins on my mother side but I have never seen her in my life. I ran to my mom and told her about the girl claiming to have the same grandfather. After my mom and her dad engaged in a subtle conversation and a few laughs, my mom told me, "She is your step cousin."  If there was ever a term, I did not understand it then. But later in my life, I would encounter people with the same last name as my middle name who would turn out to be a "distant relative." It never bothered me. In fact there is that affinity to people who I meet that somehow share my name and bloodline.

Later on, I wondered, how my grandmother, sweet and loving as she was, could have dealt with it all. It brought me to a time when I was about five years old. I happened to pick up a phone call while at my grandmother's home. The lady on the other line was furious and was speaking foul language as she asked for my grandma. I called my grandmother and she patiently listened to the other woman. Even from a distance, I could hear the other woman screaming through the end of the phone. When her ranting stopped, I will never forget the three words my grandmother said to her before quietly putting down the phone. "God Bless You."

This woman wronged my grandmother in so many ways. Crossed the line when she disturbed her home. Yet all she got was "God Bless You"? If I had half the loving, forgiving heart of my grandmother, I might end up in heaven where she is certainly now.

I miss her terribly. I always dreamt of her doing the things we used to do together like eat our favorite ube (yam) ice cream, go to Makati Supermarket and have the spaghetti, our walks in the park in our matching dusters (long comfortable dresses), the birthday parties she threw me, dental appointments together, and best of all, being cradled on her lap!

When I was twelve I sat beside her and waited for her 6:00 O'clock novena to finish. Finally, after she made the sign of the cross she told me "Hopefully I live to see you celebrate your 16th birthday." I told her "No! You'll live 'til I'm a hundred!" She passed away when I was 21. I remember taking her to the hospital one of the days I came to visit her bearing groceries. Her favorite milk, cookies, crackers, and nuts in tow. She just had stomach pains that she thought was ulcer. Unfortunately, after having been confined, she was never released. It was cancer.

So many cousins alternately kept watch over her. All of them perhaps, felt the magnitude of love my grandmother had for all of us.

The funny thing is, after all she had gone through for my grandfather, he would still be her last breath. One of my cousins told us the last few days, she would be caught talking into open space, addressing my grandfather as if he was there (he passed way ahead of her), by name "Porong, Sprite ang gusto ko." (Porong, what I want is Sprite.)

Now, that's love. No anger. No hate. Forgiven and forgotten.

For My Mom

The Hand I Hold

That hand that cradled me when I was small

The hand that reaches out each time I fall

The hand on my forehead when fevering

The hand on my shoulder encouraging

The hand that cheered in my victories

The hand that caught me in all defeats

The hand on my cheek that wiped a tear

The hand in my heart that calmed my fears

This is the hand that guided me

Throughout my lifelong journey

This is the hand I will not let go

“I’ll hold your hand mom, ‘til old you grow”

-MMGaborro

Crisp White Suit

I chanced upon a short news feature a couple of nights ago. It was a focused group study on gender issues in the workplace. In summary, the discussion revolved around the number of females in top or executive positions as opposed to the number of males holding management designations. It concluded that there were significantly more executive positions held by men than women in the workplace.

I wondered if this was by chance or by choice. Eliminating the discriminatory aspect of it all, the facts reveal that yes there are more successful men in the corporate world than women, but is it because women are less competent? Or is it because men are deliberately promoted over women? Or is it because women just choose to play several roles rather than solely compete for a seat in the boardroom?

We know of many women who hold esteem roles and positions in the corporate world and they can be this in the workplace and still attend soccer games and PTAs. Some just choose to divert more of their time in the household rather than the workplace. "Inc." names the 500 top companies run by female CEOs. These are emerging and successful companies. Would you believe, 500! If women chose to run the world, they can. And they will rock it too...toddler in tow, in a crisp, white suit that they pressed themselves.

Point is, studies are conducted showing concerns of lack of number of top female positions in the business world and for all we know, it may not even be because women are discriminated on, but perhaps, women choose to concentrate on roles that give them fulfillment.

Don't get me wrong, there are women in my life who are housewives, career women, and both. And in all cases, they are in a place where they are because they are smart enough to choose so.

My mom for instance holds a degree in Fine Arts. Before she got married my grandfather gave her a choice  "Would you like an art studio in Germany or do you want to start a family?" I'm here, so obviously, she chose to have a family. If she had wanted to, she could have said "I want both." But then, she just wanted to be a mommy and a wife.

Tess Villacorta, a retired corporate communications associate director in Ayala Corporation:. My mentor and and former boss. She is a mother of three, a wife to a lawyer and political advisor. She is a career woman at the same time, raised three beautiful children who are all successful in their own careers. She rocked suits too,by the way.

My sense is, no one can stop you from climbing up the corporate ladder, male or female. And neither should anyone say choosing motherhood over a career is lame. Fact is, women are more empowered than you think. They feel, they choose, they do.

They can choose to be accomplished, fulfilled or both. Below is a comparison of my definition of accomplishment versus fulfillment. Women sometimes choose one or another, but a lot choose both too. And they rock it! In a crisp, white suit they themselves pressed.

On Prayers

My husband just sent me a link to an article titled "Argentine Celebrates Slum Pope". The writer, Luis Andres Henao, narrates how the holy man we now call "papa" was one with the poor. Interviews with those who knew him spoke of his meekness and humility. They described his simplicity. Spoke of his dedication to drug rehab and carpentry workshop programs.

Being Filipino, I was rooting for Bishop Chito Tagle, who, two days ago, posted a sincere message on joining the world in praying for the newly elected pope. After reading both messages, I felt a sense of identification to the new pope :) I do not know him from Adam, but there is that glimmer of a warm feeling that's been sparked knowing how well-loved he is...both by his countrymen and his contenders.

If there was a way Pope Francis could include my intentions in his prayers, what would mine be?
1. Complete recovery of Aquiles Gaborro
2. Full recovery Nicholas Guevara
3. Complete healing and recovery of Cora Laman
4. Continued strength and health of Aida Gaborro
5. Long, healthy, and happy lives for Mar & Rose Morales
6. My everyday prayer: Keep my children safe and healthy--all their lives.
7. Bring my husband home back safely to me, everyday, for as long as we live.
8. A 12-passenger van to fit more of our children please?

What would your prayers be?

*Link my husband sent: http://www.theitem.com/news/ap_news/argentines-celebrate-francis-as-their-slum-pope/article_e3e3289b-2202-5382-9f79-d8e7008fa7f7.html

Reading to First Graders

Today I was assigned to read at Jamie's class as part of the nationwide reading efforts in a week-long celebration of Dr. Seuss' birthday.

I read the first-graders one of Jamie's favorite books since she was   a baby "I Love You Mommy".

Part of my presentation was why reading is important to me and how I got started on reading. I told the class a lot about my mom whose story-telling was most inspirational to me. My mom got me started on reading then encouraged me in writing.

I love what I do today because of my mom. I can only hope that I can be half as good as her when it comes to teaching my own children.

A Moment a Daughter Will Remember Forever

I have captured our first daughter's sweethearts dance in 2008. Just last Saturday, they attended another  father-daughter dance and this time, there were two sweethearts!

I remember how my dad would take me out on dates at a very young age. We would go to music lounges and listen to live bands, just the two of us :) Those times I will never forget. And I am sure, my daughters will  always remember these dates with their papa.

I enjoy it...even though I am merely a spectator. Because who knows! The next chance my girls may get to dance with their papa might just be at their own weddings...But for now, I will savor these sweet moments...the loving look in my husband's eyes...the twinkle in my girls' eyes as they look upon the man who matters most in their lives.

Moms are Important

Jamie: Mom my classmates and I are thinking of going to Disneyland.

Me: U-huh...

Jamie: But we can only bring one parent.

Me: Ok....(Thought bubble: Oh no! How am I going to tell Aaron he can't come to Disney!)

Jamie: I'm taking papa cause he's fun!

Me: What?!!!! And what am I?

Jamie: Uhm....you're important.

Tell me, what kind of a descriptive is "important" compared to "fun"?

Apparently, my daughter associates me with "important things" such as making dinner, laundry, cleaning, etc. While my husband is associated with tickle-time, funny stories, jokes, and having fun.

I am not complaining. I'm just surprised that at a very young age, my daughter is unconsciously stereo-typing. I know we don't define roles at home and everyone works together as a team. So where does she get these distinctions from? Traditional books? Television? Classmates?

 I say, I spend a lot of reading and cuddle time with her! And my husband does chores too. Doesn't that mean He's important and I am fun too?

Here's a photo of her with each of us. Who looks more fun?

Oh well...

Dates to Remember

August 26.
I met my husband on a 26th of August (the year of which I will deliberately fail to mention), courtesy of our common married friends. It was a casual sushi dinner at a restaurant at The Block in Orange County. It was the first time I tried uni (sea urchin) sushi and I loved the buttery succulence of the delicacy. The uni would be among the many firsts my husband and I would try together...food, places, Broadway shows, and many more.


February 22.
The following year, on this date, we decided we would see each other exclusively.

May 16.
We got engaged.

August 26.

Exactly four years from our first date (another 26th of August), we got married civilly. It was witnessed by the couple who initially introduced us.

January 11.
Five months after, we had our ceremonial, religious wedding celebrated by our family and closest friends.

These are milestones in our lives as a couple. As boyfriend-girlfriend. As husband and wife. As parents. As friends. As partners. We will always remember these dates, as we grow old, hopefully, together.

On the coming 22nd of February, I want him to know that I am still thankful that I met him over uni. I can't wait for many more adventures that we have yet to discover.

"Happy Exclusively Dating Anniversary," my Aaron! I love you.

To My Dear Jamie

My dearest Jamie,

Today, I dropped you off at school with a heavy heart. I felt so bad about our argument on getting you a pet.

It is not a matter if we can afford it or if we have space for it. It is a question of whether you earned it: Responsibility at school, at home, as an older sister, and as our eldest daughter.

One day you will understand that there is a reason behind working hard for the things we want and someday, you will appreciate that we have taught you this.

When you’re off to college, you will discover that thesis don’t get passed by demanding for answers, You have to search for them.

When you’ve embarked on your career you will find out that salaries and bonuses are not deposited into your account by merely showing up at work.

When you find your true love, you will know that a relationship needs not just love but nurturing, attention, and a conscious effort to make things work.

When you’ve become a mother, you will learn that you may have to deny your children some of their “wants” just so they will learn the value of hardwork, the happiness of a reward, and the lesson of patience and perseverance.

Thank you for realizing that arguing with me will get you nowhere.

I am proud that you have said sorry before you left the car.

But as much as it breaks my heart, we are not getting you a pet...big, small, or in any other shape and size, until you get all “Os” in your report card and until you have proven you’re responsible enough to care for another lifeform.

I will not say sorry for setting you straight and for letting you go feeling bad this morning. For I am not. I know that I am making a better person out of you. But I will say this: I love you. And if my expression of love does not feel right to you at this time, I know in time you will know that I mean it.

Love,
Mom
2/15/13

Fussing About Me

Lately I have been obsessing about skincare products. I am not usually the "girly" kind. I hardly put on make up, I do not go bonkers over shoes (although I love bags and have about 200 of them in my closet), I am not a shopaholic, and opt for beer over lady cocktails.

But a few weeks ago, I started to open my drawer-ful of toners, moisturizers, cleansers, masks, etc., which I rarely use.

I wonder if this is a hormonal thing or, subconsciously, am I just fearing nearing the age of 40?

I am not afraid of growing old and that's for sure. I have two beautiful children and a husband who makes me laugh. So I know that no matter how wrinkly I get, I remain loved.

This sudden urge to browse feminine products is overwhelming! The variety, the prices...ooooh! So many!

I have not decided yet on a permanent basic skin care routine, but, I started getting sample of facial toner and emulsion last weekend. First stop: The Skinfood. I bought their lipstick and loved it so I am trying their lettuce and cucumber toner and emulsion. I use this in the morning before going off to work.

For the middle of the day, I bought the Equate Refreshing Towelletes. Then I put on The Skinfood's Avocado or Rice emulsion.

At night, I am using Mary Kay's Timewise 1 and 2 right after I wash off with St. Ive's Apricot Scrub.

I don't know what this mix of facial products will result to, but I sure hope it keeps my female hormones down for the time being--before it escalates to more womanly needs...shoes, fragrance, more purses, and jewelry.